It's about time.

It has obviously been a while since I last posted on here. There are many reasons and excuses. But those are not important. The main thing is that I'm going to try to put in more of an effort into posting more often... afterall, that was one of my "new year resolutions". Ha!

However, I am just not in the mood for it right now. Actually, I am FAR from being in the mood right now. I just wanted to put this out there so that any one who reads this (which is probably no one by now) will know that there will be entries coming up soon.

Oh great. School.

It's finally here. My last semester of college... hopefully. If all goes well and I pass my classes, I will be graduating in May.

My first class isn't until 10am, but I got here at 8am to make sure I didn't run into any major parking issues like I did last semester. I got here this morning with plenty of parking.

I'm taking four classes, three of them are on Tuesday and all four on Thursday. They are basically back to back, with no big breaks in between. I like it that way though, because the day goes by faster that way. However, between my second and third class I have only 15 minutes to get COMPLETELY across the entire campus pretty much. So, since I obviously had a lot of time before my first class today, I ventured out to find the location of the music center, to find my art/music capstone class. Once I found it, I timed myself to see how fast I could get to the location of the next class. Like I already said, I have 15 minutes to get from the north side of campus (art/music) to the south side (math). I made it in 12 minutes. *whew* At least I know I can make it, although I'm afraid I will be all sweaty and huffy-puffy everytime. lol. There are a lot of stairs!!

I swear that I have the worst luck on these school computers. They always fail on me. I came to the library to pass more time, and I signed into a computer. Just as I was signing into blogger and starting a myspace survey (of course, lol), it froze on me!! Then I restarted it, and once it was done... it was reserved for someone else!! Wtf!? So then I had to sign into another... and it refused to accept my password. Ugh. It looks like it's okay now... *knock on wood*.

God, please help me through this final semester. Father, keep my focused on my work and studies... but at the same time help me not stress too much. I just want to finally be done with school... at least for now. So please, Father, guide me and keep me focused through this last stretch. Amen.

Is this MY sign?

*sigh*... Not that I want to go to New Mexico. haha

Hm. Interesting.

Today, Obama officially became the new President of the United States of America. All I can do is pray that he follows through with all those promises he has made, and that he will run this country fairly. I need to respect him as our leader, and I will try my best to do so.

But I must say, people have already been treating him like a celebrity, like one of the best presidents in our country's history. He hasn't even served one day yet. I really hope that it doesn't continue to be a popularity contest, but rather, remains focused on the important issues that this country faces every day. It really doesn't matter what color or gender our president is, just as long as they serve as a respectable leader. I just wish people would stop treating him as if he was as great as Lincoln already. Being president isn't easy, and none of them have been perfect. I guess time will tell. Once agian, being a good speaker does not always mean a good leader. But I pray that God will guide him and help him to make the right decisions while in office.

But what really irked me... the man who was supposed to be saying a prayer after Obama spoke. It started out fine and dandy. But near the end, he started to recite this little rhyme/poem. It was along the lines of, "May the black... May the yellow... May the red..." and talking about the different colors of people, and it was making the onlookers laugh. But, the very last one was: "May the white embrace what is right." I'm sorry... but I thought that was kind of rude. I feel like that was crossing the line and only a tad bit prejudice. Because, you know, us white people still need to learn to accept "what is right" because we are all still depriving people of their individual rights. Oh, yeah... okay. Whatever, maybe I took it the wrong way... but that's just how it came across to me.

God bless America and our new president, Barack Obama.

Yeah, basically.

In the wise words of Weezer:

"I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think

No I don't care
I don't care"



(Oh... and everyone should go see "Seven Pounds," starring Will Smith. It's amazing.)

Hope for a Good New Year.

Last night we wished good riddance to 2008, and welcomed 2009 with open arms.

So much has changed over the last year... and I've learned many, many lessons. 2008 was full of good times and also some bad. But what year isn’t? I’ve gone on many adventures and missed opportunities… lost some friends and gained new ones… laughed ‘til I cried and cried ‘til I laughed… I really think this was the year of give and take. I tried not to do anything that I would regret… been there, done that, and I didn’t want to do it again. This was a year full of heartache, of all different kinds, but out of that I have grown stronger and wiser. I have come to realize that I can’t always please everyone. In realizing that, I have seen how finally learning to stand up for myself and my feelings, has really revealed to me my true friends. I’m thankful for the great memories I have from 2008, but I pray for even more this new year.

Now, I know that some people say that New Year resolutions are never kept, and are pointless to make. But, I’m going to try for it anyway. I have a list… so I am hoping that I will at least be able to keep some of them.

ONE. I need to pray more. I really do need to work on my prayer life because I know that will strengthen my relationship with God. I do pray, don’t get me wrong. But I tend to forget to do so on a daily basis… and I often forget to pray for myself and the things I am struggling with. So, that is first and foremost on my list.

TWO. I need to read my bible more. That’s just it. I don’t do it nearly as often as I should… mostly because I don’t know where to turn first. I wasn’t really raised in a church, I never really went to Sunday school… so I don’t even know some of the basic facts about the Word. I need to change that.

THREE. Be surrounded by less drama and just get past the issues that were making things “weird”. I am an adult… and whether or not other people choose to act like one, I realize that I need to. Although I feel like I have done what I thought was right, clearly it wasn’t good enough. So, this year I am going to work on confronting my issues and get things resolved once and for all.

FOUR. The same one that everyone else makes every year: get fit. I really need to get back on track with my exercising. I also need to start being more aware of my portions while I am eating. There is NO way I am going to go on some crazy diet and eat only salads and fruit… I just can’t do that. I just need to watch how much I eat and when. Then, starting a stable exercise routine… mix it up a bit… get into the best shape I’ve been for a while before I leave for camp this summer.

FIVE. I want to start making more meals at home. I’m getting tired of frozen Lean Cuisine meals all the time, as well as turkey or ham sandwiches. I need to add a little something different into my meals, which I think will help me from going out to eat as much. So, I need to talk to my dad and start getting more of a variety of groceries.

SIX. I need to clean and be more organized. Now, I don’t mean obsessive compulsive status… but I am getting tired of the constant clutter. So by the end of January, I hope to have my room all cleaned up and I will try my absolute best to keep it that way all year.

SEVEN. I need to work on blogging more often. Now, I know that’s not a very serious resolution, but I think it’s a valid one. I believe that blogging is a good way to communicate and share your thoughts that maybe you wouldn’t feel comfortable doing any other way. So, I am going to try to do a “blog prompt” every week at least.

EIGHT. I need to finish writing a story and/or script. I always have these ideas in my head, and I constantly talk about how I want to make a movie someday. But that is never going to happen if I can’t complete one of my stories. I need to do that this year.

NINE. I want to start scrapbooking… or at least print out pictures and put them in albums. I used to do that all the time. However, since I got a digital camera, I never print out my pictures. That makes me kind of sad. So, I hope that by the end of this year, I will have created my “2008 yearbook” album.

TEN. Travel, travel, travel. I did a lot of that throughout 2008, but I want to do even more in 2009. This month, I already have plans to go on a Disney Cruise to the Caribbean with my step-dad, so that’s pretty exciting. Then, from mid-June to mid-August, I will be in Pennsylvania working at Trails End Camp with Cassandra… and I am totally excited! I also have a trip in planning to New York right after Christmas this year, to celebrate the welcoming of 2010 in Time Square. So, I already have a few adventures to look forward to… but there is a lot of time in between those that is waiting to be filled with even more great adventures!!

That seems like a long list, but I think I can do it all. I’m sure I will come up with even more as time goes by. But for now, if I can make those resolutions come true… I know that 2009 would one of the best years of my life.

May God bless you this New Year.
Laugh loud, smile often, love tons and enjoy life :)

I just wanna help.

When my friends are hurting, it's like I automatically take on their pain as well. If they are scared, I'm scared for them. If they are heartbroken, my heart aches as well. If they are angry, I'm right there ready to fight.

I try to be someone who is easy to talk to... someone that people feel comfortable to turn to when they need a shoulder to cry on. It makes me sad to see my friends hurt, but I know that sometimes all it takes is someone who cares. I know that's how I am... sometimes all I need is someone to talk to.

But it hurts me even more when my friends are hurting, yet don't want the help. It breaks my heart to see the ones I love and care about fall apart at the seems, yet they don't want to admit it. To think that they would rather go on pretending that everything is okay, or just close themselves off from the world thinking it will be better that way... it just makes me cry.

There's only so much I can do. If someone is not willing to accept the help or is too scared to show their brokeness, I can't force them. So, instead, I have to sit back... and hope and pray that they don't end up hurting themselves anymore than they already hurt. It kills me.

Still, who am I to say that people need to be more open with their thoughts or feelings. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I am too willing to share how I feel. Maybe I should stop trying to force it out of people and just let them handle their pain the way they feel is best. I don't know.

Regardless, if I ever pry or bother you too much, wanting to know how you are doing or if you are okay... please know that it's not me trying to be nosey or tell you what to do... it's just how I show that I care. And when I love someone, I can't just sit back and do nothing. It's just not how I work. I can't NOT do anything.

I don't ever want that one time I didn't ask... that one time I didn't reach out... to pass by and then it be too late.