Stupid Phone.

This is so annoying! My phone still works fine... sure it acts up sometimes, but still always managed to keep me connected. But now it won't charge. The charger isn't matching up correctly with the connector in the phone... or something along those lines. For the last week or so, I would just have to put pressure on it and it would eventually start charging. But no, it decided to reach its end tonight.

I really want to run it over with my car, throw it off a cliff, then smash it with a hammer until it is only a fine dust.

I promise, I don't have anger management issues... it's just, gawd, they make phones so cheap! But then they charge so much! I can't afford a new phone right now... I mean, I have insurance on it so I will only have to pay $50 for a new one. Still, I don't really have an extra $50 right now. And to make matters worse, I am supposed to be meeting up with a friend from school after class tomorrow, and now I can't even reach her. Then, I was supposed to stop by Kelly's house to visit... and I can't call her to let her know when. Good thing she has a myspace. haha. And now.... ONCE AGAIN... it's not letting me indent to start a new paragraph... WHY WHY WHY does it do this?!?!

So it's been a few days.

I saw Miranda Lambert in concert on Saturday! It was pretty awesome! There was a row of drunk cowgirls sitting in front of us, but it was all good. She pretty much sang all of her biggest hits, with the exception of a couple that were off of her latest album (which I have yet to buy *sad face*).

But lemme tell ya, seeing her last night also made me remember just how much I need to lose weight. HAHA!! Special-K diet, here I come!

oh... and she also inspired me for a future tattoo.... I think Sarah would appreciate it. lol

Is this a test...?

... or just a cruel joke?

Today was a good day.

But then...

I mean, I know I shouldn't even be worrying about it. I'm probably making it a bigger deal than it really is. But, you know, it's just gonna be really hard for me. Just the thought of it makes me uncomfortable and I'm not sure how I will handle it. I just don't think it will be the same. But maybe this is God's way of showing me something I need to work on. Maybe He is trying to teach me through this. I can't promise that I will pass the test 100%... but I will try to try.

And I didn't get the job at the library that I applied for. They found someone else that better qualifies based on their needs for now. So basically, they didnt like my availability. Even though I was available for the times they specifically said they needed someone for. Whatever. I was just really looking forward to getting a second job for a little while. I could really use the extra income. So, yeah, I'd say I'm just a wee bit disappointed.

*siiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Still, who am I to complain? These things are so minute in comparison to issues that other people are having. I'm done acting like my issues are of great importance.

.... I fail at this.

I'm falling behind on my blogs!!! Ahhh!!!!

Stupid work, school and homework!

Just one of those days.

I dunno what was wrong with me today.

It's not like anything happened or went wrong. I was just having an off day. I mean, I laughed and had some fun... but in the back of my mind, I just felt kinda "blah" and couldn't seem to get out of it. And when I'm around others, I try not to act like anything is wrong... but after a while today, I couldn't do it anymore. So, like the loser I am, I became the downer I was trying to avoid becoming when I ran an errand with Stacee. *sigh*

But now I am chilling with Cassandra. We are going to try to work on screenplay stuff. So, hopefully that will get my mind off my current "blahness".

I'm sure I will be just fine come tomorrow. It always works that way. I have a day of crapiness.... then I wake up the next day and it's like it never happened. Heh.

Ok... time to get to work. Good night :)

I'm being a bad employee.

I keep falling behind on my blogs lately because I'm always on the run and gone doing things. By the time I get home, the day is WAY over and I'm just too tired to get online and blog. All I would be able to produce would be, like, one sentence. Then I'd probably fall asleep on my keyboard. I'm not even joking. I would quite literally fall aslepp, head down on my keyboard. It's happened before. lol

Therefore, I am currently at work and I snuck onto one of the computers that has access to the internet. So I must keep this short and sweet.

I went to Disneyland yesterday. My parents (my mom and step-dad... as WELL as my dad and Ann) are out of town in Vegas this weekend. No, they are not all hanging out together. They hate each other too much. Both couples are there for seperate reasons. Anywho... since they are all gone, my sister has the house to herself for 3 days and I have my house to myself for 3 days. We decided we should go to the big D-land. So we did. It was good times.

Had the BEST Jungle Cruise guide EVER!!! It was so great. From the start he complained about how he would rather take a nap than go through the loop again. At one point he put the boat in reverse so that a guy could get a picture of the gorrillas that we apparently went by too fast. So the guide picked on him the rest of the time: "Hurry up and take a picture sir!", "You have your camera ready sir?" or "Ok, every one gets your cameras out for this one... especially YOU sir!" hahaha. It was amazing. We passed by a duck and he said, "The ducks are the only fake animals on the cruise. All the other animals are real. They only look so real because we put fresh batteries in all of them." I laughed so hard I cried! LOL He was hilarious!

We went over to Tom Sawyers Island... oh, excuse me, I'm sorry, I mean Pirates Lair... I forgot they changed the name. LAME. Anyway, we hung out in the caves for a while. We even made a little friend, helped her find her dad, then she came back and hung out in the cave with us for quite some time. lol. She was a cute lil 7-year-old and she asked us about a million questions about us. Haha. It was cute. Then, Stacee and Susanna ended up joining us at the park. So, I made them come find us on the island... I had to give them 10,000 clues since they failed at it. HAHA!!! Jk jk.

Blah blah blah... the usual Disneyland stuff... blah... rides... blah... then we watched the fireworks. I love them so much :) I can't wait for it to be Christmas time at the park... so then we get fireworks AND fake snow w/ Christmas music. *sigh* It gets me everytime. I don't know what it is. Hopefully it will be just as magical this year as it has in the past... or even MORE magical... I just hope it hasn't been tainted for me.

Gays into the future.

Man am I tired!!

Haha!

We were up late last night re-shooting Chris's film... and then I had to get up ultra early to get to school a couple hours early in order to find parking. Then I printed out my homework, bought a muffin and rockstar for breakfast, went to class, took notes, went to class, tried not to fall asleep, then got out of class and went straight to work.

I was soooo hungry by the time I go to work. All I had to eat was that muffin at like 9am. And so I finally grabbed dinner at like 6:30pm. Mmmmm.... it was the best food ever, probably because I was so hungry. lol.

I actually really enjoy working the later shift at my work. The supervisors... well, the bossy ones... are all gone. The other people there are really loud and very interesting to listen to. lol. They play games in the warehouse... play music... and I can print out everything I need for school offline. Haha!

Anywho... I'm pooped. Tomorrow will hopefully be a good day. I get to hang out with my lil sis after she gets off school :) Yay!

Too busy being dead.

Yeah. That's right. I was too busy being "dead" last night to blog last night. I killed myself actually. Well, technically is was my character that killed herself... haha... and lemme tell ya, that blood was a sticky mess!

You see, my friend Chris was working on a film project and asked me to play the role of the dead girlfriend, Devon. That meant no lines, but rather being part of a dramatic scene in which my "boyfriend", David, discovers my dead body [fully clothed] in the bathtub of our apartment. I "died" from intentional wounds to both wrists. Then, Satan gets into David's head and to convinces him to follow my footsteps.

It was only supposed to be one to one and a half minutes long. So, it's a pretty intense story for such a short amount of time. I had a lot of fun filming it, though. I pretty much just had to lay there, soaking in my corn-syrup blood. Haha. It was great. Then after he was done filming the parts with me in it, Stacy and I had a mini photoshoot in the bathroom/tub... in all my bloodiness. And she took some pics with "blood" smeared across her mouth like The Joker from "Dark Knight" lol. "Why so serious?!" Haha!

But, I just got a call from Stacy. I guess there were some technical difficulties, and the film didn't come out. Soooo... I'm gonna go back out there tonight after church to be dead all over again! Hahaha! Good times!........................................................ UGH. And NOW my computer is doing that SAME thing again where it won't let me start a new paragraph. WTF?! Why does it do this?!?! Ok... I'm done.

Homework is for losers.

I'm only a couple weeks into school and I'm already debating skipping a homework assignment.

I hate my stupid art class. Who knew ART would have so much BOOK work!?! I mean, come on!!! I thought art was about creativity... NOT notetaking and essay writing... EVERY SINGLE WEEK!!?!?!?!?!?!

The end.

Just because I have to...

I'm blogging.

I have to.

Afterall, it's a blog-a-day, right?

But I have nothing to say. And I'm sleepy.

It was kinda a sad day. I cried a few times. For different reasons, such as saying good-bye to Sarah and watching footage from 9/11 on the History Channel.

I will probably cry one more time before going to sleep. lol. And no, I'm not on my period. lol.

I need to find myself a James Marsden. One that wants to take care of me. *sigh*

Haha.

I need to shower.

I have a lot of homework still. Ugh.

This is a really lame blog. I'm sorry.

Awwwww.... James Marsden is SO cute in "27 Dresses"!! I am so Jane in that movie. It's not even funny. lol. I don't care what other people say, I REALLY like this movie. I think it's because I can really relate to her character. It makes me sad... but there's a happy ending. So, I figure that will come along for me someday, too. Right?

I have a headache.

My problem is that I try too hard sometimes to make everyone happy... and sometimes to the point that I drive myself mad.

When it comes to making plans, I can hardly say no. I try to do everything. LOL.

My mom complains about how she barely gets to see me...

My friends always come up with exciting things to do that I just don't want to miss out on...

I live with my dad, I still hardly see him...

Haha. Like today for example, I wasn't sure what to do. I knew I had to work in the morning. So I did that and got it over with. After that, I wasn't sure if I should go out to Corona to visit my mom and step-dad, or if I should go to Downtown Disney later with friends, or if I should try to do both. But then I have lots of homework, so I need to find the time to do all of that before the weekend is over. And then there's 24-hour prayer tonight... so I was gonna have to find a way to fit that in.

I talked to my mom... a couple times... and finally decided to not go out to Corona. I would've only been there for a couple hours, and that just wouldn't have been very practical moneywise. I still feel bad though, because I want to try to put more of an effort into going out there to see them. But then I also feel bad because I hardly see my dad, so for me to be like "Hi Dad. I haven't seen you all week... I'm going out to Corona now, bye!" just doesn't seem right. Ugh. lol.

So, now that I have finally figured out whats going on today, I have a headache. I will probably have it all night. Oh joy.

I hate being so indecisive. It really is a result of my childhood, though. Having to make lots of decisions as a child between parents and whatnot. I feel like I'm programmed now to make the choice that will please the greatest amount of people, even if that means sacrificing my own happiness. It's a habit I've been trying to work on. But, when I get guilt tripped, it makes me feel horrible. Or when I finally stand up for myself and voice what I really want to happen, and it results in someone getting mad at me... that makes it hard to deal with.

*sigh*

I need another vacation. lol.

Just a little dizzy.

So, I got to sleep in today!! Woo hoo!! HAHA!

It was pretty much amazing.

I had a nice dream. But it was one of those dreams where when you wake up, you are kinda sad that it wasn't real. It felt so real... and yet it wasn't. It felt so real that I had to check my outgoing text messages to make sure I didn't really send the texts that I dreamt I sent. Haha. Does that make any sense? lol

So anyway. I just really want to find a boy that will love me. Haha. I'm the kind of person who could never really remember their dreams, unless it was really scary or something. But, lately, I've been having a lot of dreams about the same guy and I tend to remember them all. So yeah, I dunno. HAHA. I keep wishing that one day one of those dreams will come true. That he will someday realize haha. But I feel like it's not necessarliy something I should be wishing for... yet I still do!! I want it so bad!

Ugh. Whatever. I better stop now before it makes me sad. haha.

A day to remember...

(I realize that I wrote this in a myspace blog... but I added a little more towards the end... just fyi.)

Seven years ago, our country was attacked and millions of people gathered together to mourn.

Let us not forget that day. The innocent lives lost. The heroes who died trying to save those innocent lives. The children who lost their parents. The parents who lost their children. Husbands who lost their wives. Wives who lost their husbands. People who lost their best friends.

Let us not forget how our country pulled together to lift each other up in love and support. All the people who rushed out to donate blood. All the people who worked day and night in attempts to find any possible survivors. All the people who struggled to pay their bills and yet still made the effort to donate money.

Today my thoughts, hopes and prayers go out to the families and friends of the victims on September 11, 2001. May God surround them in His perfect love on this anniversary day.

I am NOT ashamed to say that I am PROUD to be American. Being around for that horrific day, as well as the many months to follow, made me realize even more just how WONDERFUL this country is. People from all backgrounds and all beliefs were able to work as one in order to lift the USA back up on its feet. I am blessed to have been born and raised here... and I wouldn't dream of living anywhere else.

GOD BLESS AMERICA...

Oh... and be sure to tell the people you love just how much you love them as OFTEN as you can. You never know what tomorrow might bring. I think about how so many lives were torn apart that morning. Did everyone have the chance to say "I love you" to those they loved. Did any of them go to work that morning after fighting with their spouse, and never have a chance to make things right? I just want to make a point to make it very clear just how much my family and friends mean to me. I would hate for something to happen without them knowing how I truly felt.

So, just for the record... you ALL mean the world to me. I know not everyone I know reads this... but it's in writing. haha. I don't know where I would be without all the wonderful friends and my loving family.

I love you all.
~Candice

Busy Busy Busy

I'm starting to think that my life isn't interesting enough to do one blog everyday. LOL.

I sign in, click "new post", the compose window pops up... and I stare. Blankly. For a couple minutes. I hope that something exciting or meaningful will come to mind. But it usually fails.

All I can say is that this week... and coming up weekend... is extremely busy. Oye. The days are starting to blend together. Then, I can't remember what I had planned or scheduled. Like, this weekend, I know I have plans for everyday... but I can't quite remember which is on which day! LOL! I should get a planner... write things down as soon as they are planned... but the truth is that even if I write everything down in a planner, I will forget to look at it! HAHA!

I feel like there was something important I had to say... but I can't remember.

I had a job interview today! At the Manhattan Beach Library... the position they are hiring for is a page. You know, the person that puts books away and all that fun stuff. It would be a good job for me because I can be slightly obsessive compulsive when it comes to sorting and filing things. I think it went well... I think they liked me... so I guess we will have to see! Say a lil prayer! haha

Ok... I gotta go... I really need to pee. lol!

My eyes are droopy.

I feel so bad. It seems like in most of my blogs, I'm complaining about something. I don't mean to. I think I'm just going through a lot of little things that are all starting to pile up... and I'm not quite sure how to handle it quite yet. Oh.... oooooooooooooooooooooooomg... my computer is doing that STUPID thing again where it won't let me start a new paragraph! Ugh! Come on!! Maybe this is a hint that I should be going to bed instead of writing a blog. But I can't keep falling behind! I started this blog-a-day for a reason! lol. Ok... ok... fine... I will go to bed. But don't think I won't write an extra long one next time around to make up for this failed attempt!.... I wonder what I will dream about tonight....

Eating cookies in Forever 21.

I must say... I felt like quite the rebel. I'm pretty sure there's no food allowed in the store... but there we were, snacking it up while waiting outside the dressing rooms. haha! It was late... whatever.

Mall Mondays are fun. We should have them more often. But, sadly, Sarah won't be there for another one for the next 10 months :( :( :( :( :(

Lot's of ":("= REALLY REALLY sad face. lol. Just fyi.

Anywho... I hate school. Here I am, finally trying to be a good student and not procrastinate on my homework. I tried working on my Art 300 work all freakin' day, and I STILL barely have any of it done. It makes absolutely NO sense to me whatsoever. Art is supposed to be fun and interesting, not boring and tedious. Ugh! So, now I sit here late at night, and it's due tomorrow. And it's not even close to done. This totally sucks.

I tried to offer Cassandra $10 to do it for me... and after trying to read the stuff for like 2 minutes, even she gave up.

My lips are chapped. I need to go get my chapstick.

This is very random.

You know who I think is very attractive? Sylar... from "Heroes". We had a rather heated discussion about this at Starbucks just a little while ago. Apparently some people think Peter is better looking... but come on... we all know the nerd-gone-bad hunk Sylar is WAY cuter ;)
And I currently have like 5 pics of him posted on my comments... so that makes me happy. I can go look at them whenever. I think I will now.

Peace.

Weekend's over :-\

The weekend is over now, and it's time to get back to the daily grind... school, work, school, work....*breathe*... school, work, school.... heh. Great.

The weekend was jam packed though.

Friday night I visited Cassandra and Michael at the Gable House where they were bowling. Then grabbed some In'n'out with the rest of the gang.

Saturday, I went to work at 7am. Worked for only 3 1/2 hours (haha) and left. Then we all went to the Palos Verdes mall to go ice skating since it was Susanna's b-day.... BUT, the skating rink was closed. So that sucks. Instead we went next door to Ruby's and got milkshakes. And Omar, being the totally amazing little dude that he is, told the waitor that it was Susanna's b-day. So, right when everyone thought it was time for us to leave, here came all these people around the corner singing happy birthday to her. Haha. It was basically amazing. She turned so red, it was great.

After Rubys, Cassandra and I picked up Michael and then went to Venice Beach to see Jake (aka: J Ray) do a show. We met up with Stacy and Chris there. Jake did a wonderful job... it seemed like everyone there really seemed to like his music. So that was awesome. And, while we were there, we saw the guy who plays the role of Darryl on "The Office" haha! I really wanted to say something, but I was too scared. So, then we all left... Cassandra, Michael and I went to Starbucks nears his aunt's house and loitered out in the parking lot for a long time, and acted like crazy people... well... Cassandra acted crazy. I think Michael and I just watched. LOL! Then, we eventually dropped him off and Cassandra drove us home. She dropped me off at the Holmes' house because my car was there. Since it was so late, I just slept over there since we would all be going to church in the morning anyway.

I had two dreams last night. I hardly EVER remember my dreams. But I did this time. And I actually woke up kinda sad... because they were dreams about something that I want really bad. A boyfriend. Haha! They were such happy dreams... but then I had to wake up and realize that they weren't real. I just wanted to go back asleep haha!

Anyway, today (Sunday) I went to church. I helped Nate and Hattie up in children's church for the first time. It was a lot of fun. I plan to help a couple times a month... you know, to get more involved in our church. Plus, the kids are always lots of fun :)

After church, we had lunch.... I visited with my dad and Ann for a little while... then a few of us went to the Lomita fair. We got there and the guy at the gate said "You have 15 minutes ladies." So, clearly it closed earlier than we thought it would. But I was just happy that I got to go for a little while. I love fairs/carnivals! Especially at night... I love the lights, the sounds... its just so much fun! I really need to try to go to the LA County Fair sometime this month. Seriously.

And, now, here I am. Writing my blog. And I think I'm done now. Haha. This one wasn't really filled with much insight or emotion... haha.... I just kinda rambled. Oh well.

Until tomorrow :)

(OH... and I never really watch America's Next Top Model.... but the others are watching it right now... and I must say, there are some REALLY strange people on this show...)

So... I'm two days behind...

... and, frankly, I'm just too tired to blog right now.

I just haven't had the time to sit down at a computer to make new posts.

I will try again later today... when it's not so early in the morning.

I need sleep.

Pretty much pointless.

Nothing extremely exciting took place today. But I was gonna try to ramble on a little bit just for the sake of posting a daily blog. HOWEVER, my computer is doing that funky thing again where it refuses to let me begin a new paragraph... no matter how many times I push "enter". UGH! I simply cannot write an entire blog without being able to start new paragraphs. It drives me nuts when people do that! You know what I mean? When it's just one continuous, ridiculously long paragraph?! Admit it... it's annoying. Haha. So, this needs to end now. Let's hope my keyboard will love me tomorrow!

Even Killian Murphy would make a better Edward...

I need a new job.

I got to work today and saw that they updated my schedule. Now... they didn't get it wrong... the new manager did a very good job at going by availability. It's the fact that since I have a new manager, he doesn't know that I just come and go when I need to be there. I'm afraid that he's gonna expect me to be there for my full schedule. I would go crazy out of my mind if I was there all the time. Haha! I just hope he doesn't notice that I'm not always there at the same times I'm scheduled.

I'm currently watching "28 Days Later" at Cassandra's house... it's been quite some time since I've seen this movie. Haha... how it brings back old memories. I bet you never knew that I do a killer infected zombie impression! It's true.

Man. Hmm. I have nothing really interesting to say.

I really need to sit down sometime and actually finish writing one of my stories, so I can finally put them into screenplay form. I was just informed that someone out there is currently working on turning both "Monopoly" and "Candyland" into actual movies. Hollywood is REALLY running out of ideas. They need something new, desperately.

Hahaha!

Waste of time and gasoline.

So today was basically one of those days that jumps right up on the list of "Worst Days Ever" before it really even had a chance to get started.

I got up on time, got dressed and ready in a timely matter, and arrived to school with just over an hour to spare before my first class started. Now, I have been attending CSULB for FOUR years now... and in ALL those four years, an hour would have been plenty of time to find a parking spot before class, as long as your class was 10am or earlier. So, since my class started at 10am, I got there close to 9am... not expecting the worlds best parking spot.. I expected to have to walk a little ways. Oh, I couldn't be any further from the truth. There was NO parking to be found at all!! I spent the following hour driving around aimlessly from parking lot to parking lot, structure to structure... NO SUCH LUCK.

So... it was about 5 minutes before I was supposed to be in class... on the FIRST day of the semester, mind you. Yet, there I was still driving around in my car... and in tears by this point. I was so far beyond furious that I couldn't even put it into words. I ended up parking in a neighborhood near the school, in a "2 hour maximum" area. As I walked the mile (or maybe more) to class, I was completely astonished that parking was so ridiculous. We pay $123 each for a semester parking pass, and I couldn't really even USE it! Then, to make matters worse, I may get to class so late that I get dropped from it! If that would've happened, I probably would have snapped and had a complete mental breakdown right then and there in front of the classroom. But, thank God, I got there to my MTED 312 class [late, of course] and still got to sign in on the roll sheet.

Following my first class, I had to walk the mile or so back to my car, only to move it a few yards and re-park it (since it was "2 hour maximum"). Then I proceeded to walk BACK to school for my second class. I had the chance to meet up with my old friend, Courtney, before my second class though. That was nice. She's going to be attending CSULB for their graduate program now, so I will probably be seeing her more often. So, anyway, I sat through my second class (Art 300), only to have to walk back down to my car AGAIN in order to re-park it... AGAIN. This time though, I was lucky enough to finally find a spot in the actual school parking lot. That made me happy because that meant walking about 1/4-1/2 mile less than I had been. Ha!

Before my last class of the day, L/ST 400(?... How sad... I don't even know), I stopped off at the library to cool down after walking in the heat. I went online to check myspace... and I got a comment from a boy that made me very happy. So, my day got a little better after that. Haha! I managed to make it through my last class alive... and finally was able to come home.

I clearly need to get to school before 8am from now on if I want to find a parking spot. How sad is that?! You would think I could finally have a chance to sleep in just a TAD bit... but no... I still have to PRETEND I have a really early morning class, just in order to avoid trekking 4 miles everyday back and forth to my car. Ugh!

... and all of this got me thinking: maybe everything was against me getting to school on time for a reason. Maybe it's because it's not where I am MEANT to be...? Hmm...

Until next time. :)

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

The 1st of September, 2008... LABOR DAY.

Tomorrow I start yet another semester at Cal State Long Beach. Another semester in which I will work my butt of towards a career that I really don't believe is meant for me. But I better finish what I started, right? I'm hopefully gonna graduate in the spring... with a degree in Liberal Studies... and after that, I don't really know what I am going to do.

Do I follow through with the couple more years of school in order to get my teaching credentials?
Do I just get a job at a private school where credentials aren't required?
Do I just do subsitute teaching?
Do I change my career path altogether?

I'm gonna have a lot of decisions over the next year. Lord knows I'm absolutely horrible at making decisions. So I'm not quite sure how I will manage to do so. But I'm hoping that by putting my faith in God, I will be led down the right path... the path that I'm meant to be on, not just one I'm simply settling for.

I've been told that I should follow my dreams... fight that lion... that if God put a desire in my heart, then He will give me the tools to reach it. But how can I be for certain that my dreams are from God or just thoughts from my own mind? I guess that is the answer I am seeking. I just want to make sure that I don't just live for myself, but that I follow the path that God has set out for me... knowing what is best for me in the long run.

So yeah. Tomorrow is a new day. A new semester. I'm not looking forward to it. But, until I figure out what I have to do, I really have no choice but to continue on with what's good enough. I can't just stop where I am... I'm so close to being done. I just hope that within the next 9 months or so of school, I will finally find the answer; that I will find a way to finally pursue my real dream... film school. *insert dramatic "BUM, BUM BUM!!!" here*

Haha.

... so begins my blog-a-day, I hope. Keep an eye out for yet another blog... tomorrow :)