I have a headache.

My problem is that I try too hard sometimes to make everyone happy... and sometimes to the point that I drive myself mad.

When it comes to making plans, I can hardly say no. I try to do everything. LOL.

My mom complains about how she barely gets to see me...

My friends always come up with exciting things to do that I just don't want to miss out on...

I live with my dad, I still hardly see him...

Haha. Like today for example, I wasn't sure what to do. I knew I had to work in the morning. So I did that and got it over with. After that, I wasn't sure if I should go out to Corona to visit my mom and step-dad, or if I should go to Downtown Disney later with friends, or if I should try to do both. But then I have lots of homework, so I need to find the time to do all of that before the weekend is over. And then there's 24-hour prayer tonight... so I was gonna have to find a way to fit that in.

I talked to my mom... a couple times... and finally decided to not go out to Corona. I would've only been there for a couple hours, and that just wouldn't have been very practical moneywise. I still feel bad though, because I want to try to put more of an effort into going out there to see them. But then I also feel bad because I hardly see my dad, so for me to be like "Hi Dad. I haven't seen you all week... I'm going out to Corona now, bye!" just doesn't seem right. Ugh. lol.

So, now that I have finally figured out whats going on today, I have a headache. I will probably have it all night. Oh joy.

I hate being so indecisive. It really is a result of my childhood, though. Having to make lots of decisions as a child between parents and whatnot. I feel like I'm programmed now to make the choice that will please the greatest amount of people, even if that means sacrificing my own happiness. It's a habit I've been trying to work on. But, when I get guilt tripped, it makes me feel horrible. Or when I finally stand up for myself and voice what I really want to happen, and it results in someone getting mad at me... that makes it hard to deal with.

*sigh*

I need another vacation. lol.